This past weekend I was out of town, hence my lack of blog posts. I flew out to Fredericton and on my flight back just before take off the pilot says to us: “Attention folks, we hope to get off the ground shortly, there just seems to be a slight problem with one of the engines. Shouldn’t be anything to worry about so we’ll be up in the air in the next 10 minutes.”
Obviously it didn’t turn out to be anything, but I don’t think a pilot should ever utter the words “a slight problem with the engine” to the passengers no matter how little a problem it may be. In honor of that brilliant pilot here are some other phrases that you never want to here while you’re at the airport.
#10 – Flight Attendant: By any chance do you know how to operate a Boeing 747?
#9 – Security: <metal detector goes off> “Sir, do you have any metal in your pants?….Let’s take a look, step in here sir.”
#8 – Pilot: “OK folks, I’m going to dim the lights a little before take off because my hangover is killing me.”
#7 – Check in: “For a domestic flight, I have no idea sir how your bag ended up in China. Amazing isn’t it?”
#6 – Announcer: “Would the owner of an unmarked red suitcase come to the lost and found please. Your bag is ticking.”
#5 – Pilot 1: “Hey Jim, I don’t think we’ll have enough gas for this next flight.”
Pilot 2: “That sounds like a challenge to me Mike.”
#4 – Security: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you are not allowed to bring any foreign creatures back with you. Oh my I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was your baby.
#3 – Flight Attendant: “Would you mind sitting in the cargo net? Your odor is bothering the other passengers.”
#2 – Pilot: “Hey Everyone, we’ll be making a quick lay over in International waters.”
#1 – Check In: “We have one seat available, it’s sitting next to Eric Allan who has some great stories. You will be in the emergency exit seat so feel free to exit the aircraft at anytime. “
