You’ve seen it happen before. Just as you become enamoured with a dysfunctional family or a college group of misfits, they are taken away from you by old farts in suits sitting in their ivory towers. I’m speaking of course the time after time beloved TV shows get the boot because they aren’t pulling in the viewers and are replaced by Reality TV featuring Rich Women who have such a troubled life. “Oh no I dented my husband’s Mercedes!” Brilliant programming!

Here are 10 shows I loved growing up that were taken away from me way too soon…

10) Deadwood

Who wouldn’t love a show about foul mouthed Cowboys and frequent references to prostitution? Not to mention a local hero with roots in my hometown of Etobicoke! HBO loved it but unfortunately the show’s creator took a chance on another show and lost out big time. The sun had set on Deadwood.

9) Greg the Bunny

Eugen Levy, Sarah Silverman, Seth Green, puppets and references to sex and violence. Awesome! 3 Seasons was all they could give!

Undergrads

Merely 13 episodes, Undergrads was a warm show with loveable characters (Cal and Gimpy mostly). I loved this mostly for one reason – I could connect with Nitz, the main character. A hopeless romantic in love with a gorgeous red head and was blind by the fact this other hot punk rock chick liked him! It was only too late for Nitz and the show that he realized his error in the final episode.

7) Clone High

Same story with Abe as in Undergrads. This show also lasted just one season and it was hilarious! Talk about random humor, this show featured a gangster Ghandi, jocky JFK and Abe Lincoln voiced by Will Forte. This show even featured an appearance by John Stamos! Say WHAT!
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6) Freaks & Geeks

From the  mind of Judd Apatow, Freaks & Geeks was dropped after one season (followed by Undeclared being dropped after a single season as well). It was a darker, more comedic version of Degrassi and it launced the careers of Seth Rogen and James Franco.

5) Batman The Animated Series

Only 85 episodes and by far the greatest of the Batman series (excluding Batman Beyond)! Brilliant battle scenes with actual gun shots (not lasers)! Talk about awesomely drawn villans – Clayface, Mr. Freeze and The Joker (voiced by Mark Hammill)!

4) Toronto Playoffs

I really miss having a team in the Playoffs. It’s not fair. We never had a chance to really enjoy the time we had with the Leafs & Raptors in the playoffs! Bring that show back!

3) The Office + Extras

Oh Ricky Gervais, you are so pudgy and silly. You’re such a great writer and a brilliant comedian but your shows just had no legs. The Office was bloody hilarious and the fact that it inspired him to bring it to the US and well you know the success of that story. At least they did that show right by wrapping up the show with an hour Christmas special. Extras, another bloody good show was just catching steam with Andy (Ricky Gervais) just starting to make it in the TV world. That show still has my favourite cameo line from Patrick Stewart:

2) The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien

Fuck Jay Leno, #TeamCOCO. That is all NBC!

1) Arrested Development

I don’t think much has to be said about this being the number one show that was cancelled too soon. The movie could not come any sooner. Thanks Rupert Murdoch and Fox!

"I've made a huge mistake..."

I’ve never been to the Thompson Hotel and I have no idea if they will even allow me and my rag tag entourage in but we’re going to try.  So come on out and join. If you need to get in touch with me just shoot me a tweet!

It’s a Celebration Bitches!

Being at that event really brought me back to those art collecting days. I was enamoured with the works and it was there that I said to myself that I wanted to try my hand at being an artist.

I do have an extensive art background. I’ve had many pieces showcased though many of them were on my family  fridges…

Now my art background is primarily focused on MS Paint and so I thought I would try my hand at creating some brilliant pieces to show you. So without further ado (that’s Swedish for interruptions and also beached whale), here is my first exhibit – Eric’s Ironic Talent:

I call this: Point to the Obvious

The Epic Saga of ROYGBIV

Interactive Physics

Existensialism and the Inquiry of the Human Psyche

I was enjoying a beautiful weekend at my cottage, sipping my iced hot chocolate (or chocolate milk if you want to be pedestrian) when I noticed an interesting article in the Globe and Mail. It was about the Humber River in Etobicoke. My jogging route and a significant part in the role of establishing the city of Toronto’s early beginnings. You see, a while back the Humber River was granted a few dozen heritage signs much to the dismay of some city councilors including now mayor – Rob Ford.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Rob Ford. He is a big lovable guy who is a ton of fun (no pun intended). I have never been more interested in politics since he announced he would be running for mayor. I just wake up every morning excited to see what Mr. Ford will say or do today that causes an uproar. That’s just good entertainment.

But this particular quote of his had me worried as Funtastic Ford is an Etobicokian too! You can read the article here but I want to point out the quote Robbytron 4000 gave when asked about the heritage signs scattered across the Humber River:

“You’d have to be retarded if you can’t see frickin’ water in front of you. I think everyone knows where the Don River is and the Humber River is. It’s only been there for over a hundred years!”

Wow…

I thought to myself, Eric, for a Dr., you know very little about the history of Toronto and here is another man from Etobicoke (where there are more libraries than Tim Horton’s apparently) who is a proud local historian! I took it upon myself to dig further and find where he obtained such a suprisingly accurate historical fact. Finally I found it, ”The Probably Somewhat Accurate History of Toronto.” I spent all day reading the 64 page, picture filled book and suddenly my mind like a freshly added batch of painted plastic balls in a McDonalds ball bit, filled with knowledge of Toronto’s rich history. Let me share with you some of my favourite parts…

- A long time ago (probably a little over 200 years), Dinosaurs or “Jesus Horses” roam what is now Toronto but they soon die out because they are “retarded” and have a difficult time finding water.

- Sometime over 100 years ago, the Humber River bursts out of the Earth paving way for rapid growth in nature and unfortunately, parks

- Around 1911, two men, Sir Etobi Ford and Lord Douglas R. Coke, discover the Humber River and start up the town of Etobicoke. Years later, Douglas Coke would leave to start a small company called Coca Cola.

- 1964, the Tim Hortons franchise is introduced , kicking off the franchise war between Coffee Shops and Libraries

- 1972, a 20-something Urban living Torontonian introduces the bicycle to the city. Drivers become irrated and the city spirals out of control with an emergence in the arts and frequent street closing events.

- 2001, the smartest engineers gather in Toronto to work on traffic issues in the city with hover cars. Also, to look at ways to bring back Jesus Horses.

This book really is a great read, so if you’re interested in being like Rob Ford and knowing the entire history of Toronto, head on down to your local library and pick up this book…. And you might want to hurry because you’re library may be soon a Tim Hortons.

Have you ever felt like a VIP? I haven’t and I still haven’t, but I can say I probably got pretty close tonight after I got some sweet hookups to see the screening of The Hangover Part II. It was pretty radical (Yeah, I’m bringing that word back), standing in line knowing I was one of the lucky few that got to see the movie well before anyone else. Yep, pretty radical until I got padded down by security. ”It’s OK sir, there’s no way I would have the patience to record the entire movie on my iPhone” I says to the guy who thankfully did not receive training from the Airline Industry.

I won’t go too far into detail of the movie as it may force you to leave my site and let’s face it, having a high bounce rate keeps me up at night. I will however give my thoughts on what I well…thought (I really need a Thesaurus).

Started off strong. Alan (Zachy G as I know him), has some outrageously funny lines. Just pausing to think about some of his other lines and I started laughing even harder.  The movie then takes a bit of a dark turn. Still funny, but in a much more sick and twisted way than the first one.  

I could tell by the audience that by the end of the movie, everyone was pretty well out of it as it kind of dragged on towards the end and ended on a real low note.  An attempted joke by Stu’s brother in law that fell flat with me.  I did enjoy the film’s catch phrase which was uttered much in the same way as “It’s the Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer”.

In the end, the movie plays off the jokes of its predecessor but doesn’t rely on them and it results in a darker, twisted but sadly less funny movie.  Fortunately, I’m a huge fan of Ken Jeong and if you enjoy him you’ll be excited to hear he’s hilarious in this movie. The Wolfpack goes much farther with their antics but for the most part they were on their own as I was really disappointed at the lack of cameos. You think a highly anticipated movie like this would have garnered more star power. But anyways, if you are not offended by nudity (There’s at least 87% more of it in this one) then you really have to see this film in theatres. It’s a good flick so enjoy the ride and don’t think about comparing it with the first one until after you’ve had a few drinks.

I hope that by writing this post I can still get in Alan’s Wolfpack. I think he would accept me, as we share a common name. I also am a Stay at Home Son on Disability and I posses some great facts about “Thigh-Land”.

Fact: In 1932, the military forces staged a coup d’etat that transformed the country into a constitutional monarchy. Nine years later, the Japanese invaded the country, inciting the Thais to attack and take Laos from the French. Following Japan’s defeat in 1945, the Thais were forced to return the land they’d taken.

Join the Wolfpack and see the movie. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll learn a lot about Thailand and you’ll develop a fonder appreciation for monkeys.

Many people got to leave work early today or got the day off entirely, but it we all know it wasn’t because of the long weekend rather the upcoming Rapture.  If you have been living in a cave this past week you may want to read the paper because according to these guys the world will end tomorrow. And you thought rain would be ruining your long weekend. Now, I have been a church goer for a long time but would not call myself a scholar in Theology. That statement was verified during a drinking discussion the other week as a friend of mine and I discussed the book of Revelations (I realized I was very rusty).  

Well, the good Doctor is prepared none the less, thanks in most part to the countless post-apocolyptic movies I’ve seen. Judgement Day really isn’t all that different than a Zombie Apocolypse in terms of survival needs. The Lord will spare the good while the wicked are left below so pretty much you’re left on Earth with a bunch of evil doers.  That means you need to be prepared. So take a look at what’s in my Rapture Ready Kit and after reading this begin packing your own!

• Kraft Dinner w/Frank’s Hot Sauce – With fire and brimstone on Earth it should be fairly easy to find boiling water to cook my KD and Frank’s Hot Sauce can make a transition to cannibalism all that much easier.
• Change of clothes – Just because the world is ending that doesn’t mean you can’t change your look every once in a while.
• Pad of Paper – If the first season of Game of Thrones is going to be cut short because of this Rapture then I’m going to need to write my own series! Oh I’ll need actors too!
• Baseball Bat – Motivational tool for the actors.
• Few bottles of Cognac to wind down those longer post-apocolypse days
• Sunglasses and Trenchcoat – It will make you look badass and the plethora of pockets is just handy.
• Cigarettes – I don’t smoke but according to the movies, everyone smokes so it will make for good trade chips.
• Toiletries – You never know who you’re going to meet when you’re toiling and it would be nice to freshen up for them.
• and finally, an iPhone – One, to load up your Rapture Playlist (Highway to Hell on repeat baby along with Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath and…Radiohead) and two, to have your Rapture apps ready to go!

So I’m pretty much set and with a new back, I think I may actually be able to get by. I honestly hope there isn’t a rapture because I’ve been having a good year and I also just booked my hotel room for a wedding and splurged a little in getting a room with a Jacuzzi.

Oh I almost forgot to bring my Bible. During those cold Rapture nights, it’d be nice to read through and find out where I went wrong.

What would be in your Rapture Ready kit? Anyone want to have Post-Rapture Tweet-up? I’m @DrEricAllan, add me and I’ll share my Kraft Dinner with you.

The real reason I stopped blogging was simply because I had no motivation. My back had reached critical mass of pain and the last thing I wanted to do when I came home was write about the lack of excitement in life. No excitement largely because I couldn’t do anything with my back.

Well that is about to change because on Friday I went through a Microdiscectomy after having back pain for nearly 2 years. I can say that I see the light but the road to recovery will be treacherous.

For starters, having surgery is an intense thing. Mine was a routine procedure but just being in the hospital makes you feel worse than you may be. It’s almost like camp. They call a group of you to the dressing room to get your “camp clothes”, then you all head to the examination room. You look around and see a lot of depressed people. I was mainly looking around going “goner, goner, gone, may make it…”. Then you all head your different ways to the operating room.

Within seconds of the operating room I am out like  a light only to wake up in another room with my fellow campers. All of them screaming for Morphine. I felt bad because my surgery actually made me feel amazing afterwards. I called the nurse over and said I had no feeling in my legs. She told me that I had feeling and that I no longer have pain in my leg. Oh…. that’s what having no pain is like.

I get to my room upstairs and I can already tell my back is straighter. Unfortunately that was the last time I smiled during my hospital stay. It was a horrid experience. $20 for TV and the channels only went up to 60! And they told me there was no remote. OK, I guess learning Telekenisis before surgery will come in handy for changing the channels because I can’t reach due to the whole back surgery thing!

My family freed me from that hellhole the next day. I lie here now in bed, periodically surfacing to walk up and down the street.  Judging from what online forums have said, my recovery is going a little slower. My doctor informs me because my nerves have been under pressure from my back for much longer and the incision made was much larger, which means longer healing time.

For now, you’d think I was still a gimp, with my cane and slow walking, but in actuality I feel much better but still not confident in my movements.  As of now I can get up out of bed, sit down in a chair and walk for 20 minutes at a very slow pace without pain. I dare not try a hill or walk without a cane.

At around the two week mark I’ll probably be more mobile and hopefully by 8 weeks I’ll be able to dance, though no one wants to see my dance moves…

So there I was sitting behind the glass just on the right side of the goaltender’s shoulder. Talk about leg room, it was amazing and you could even place your beer on the ledge, but it was wise to hold on to it when the players starting checking each other into the glass right in front of you. I felt like a Roman Emperor with after every scuffle in front of us we yell KILL KILL KILL!

If you want proof, here’s some photos of me enjoying the game.

During intermission we hit up the platinum lounge. I was the only one wearing a jersey and quite understandably no one served us. Finally I removed my jersey and revealed a classy dress shirt and we headed over to the bar to sit in some reserved seats. Service at last. “I’ll have a Courvoisier and coke” I respond to the server. #nobigdeal. It’s a very swany spot and I hope to go back there many more times. Oh yes back to the game!

2nd period, the Leafs are playing dreadful hockey so we figured it would be up to us to start the comeback. We began shouting out to the Nashville goaltender during play breaks. After quite a few drinks the things we said got pretty PG-13 with a few F-bombs in there. Notice there are two children sitting directly next to us and those are definitely not our little brothers. The heckling must’ve worked because wouldn’t you know it, the Leafs score 4 goals in the period to take the lead. You’re welcome.

Here’s another photo of us. This was after a goal was called off. I had a much better view than the ref and you can see how upset I was at the call.

How did I wrangle these tickets you ask? Christmas gift. But my folks were sneaky, they went to a church auction where the tickets were being auctioned off. Go to these auctions. Old folks could care less about sporting events so my old man got them for like 30% of the retail value. I did think long and hard about scalping the tickets and using the money to buy a round trip ticket to Europe (seriously, I’ve could’ve gotten that much money for them) but I figured the opportunity to ”roll deep” like this doesn’t happen to often.

Merry Christmas!

It’s a little unsettling saying goodbye to the car that you drove for some time. It was the one you learned to drive with, the one that impressed your friends and the one that made women look twice before you exited the vehicle in sweatpants with tomato sauce stains.

Our new car, name so far:The Green Hornet (pending public approval) is nice. It has buttons and a CD player which is a nice change but is a little smaller. It will have big shoes to fill but I’m sure it will serve us well.

Goodbye to The Black Hammer. You will be missed.